The Race called Manager(s)

Managers are a unique species or race on their own, all our time in the industry we want to slog, work, space out dreaming to become managers one day. The training we attend as freshers are assembly lines programming us to dream about becoming managers some day. There are few defective pieces out of those assembly who want to be technical architects, technology consultants etc but they are just anomalies in an otherwise perfect production unit. There are instances where people complete their "PMP" immediately out college just to improve their chances when their time comes in 10 years. To all those wannabe Managers, there is more than just bossing around and writing exams, there are traits that are required to be developed, otherwise it will be like Balamurali Krishna trying to rap with bling Bling around his neck and Cradle of Filth trying Pancharatna Kriti!

I could think about ten traits and attitudes

1. A Task is said to be complete if the work item is updated to 100% in the MPP. It doesnt matter what the developer says, the code gets checked in automatically when you update 100% in your MPP. It is called 'Manager MAGIC', you will ONLY attain this skill on promotion
2. Ask the Developer for his work status in the loo. They will feel threatened and they will definitely complete the task before they leave for the day. The tone and surprise factor are really important here
3. Appreciate everything, ensure to include the top management even if the Client just smiled and said "thank you" for pointing the start button on his windows desktop. The terms like "keep up the good work", "keep the flag flying high" are really important phrases to be present in those emails
4. Remember, there are no bad designs or bad management, there can only be faulty coding, irresponsible developers and freshers
5. As always meetings are for idle rambling with no specific point to be made.
6. An issue warrants attention only when it is escalated by the client. In all other situations the project is always in green and adhers to CMMI level 5, ALWAYS!
7. Proactive Managers are like the BIg foot or Yeti. They are only read about, they dont exist
8. "Too many managers spoil the project" is an racist attitude towards the Managers. People should be sued for saying this.
9. Managers are not born, neither are they self made, they are just promoted!
10. Attention span is directly propotional to the employee number of the person in conversation

Book review - The Girl with Dragon Tattoo

Spent the entire weekend reading the 'The Girl with Dragon Tattoo', it was one of those crime novel themed on investigative journalism and violence against woman. I did hear about the novel few months back and wanted to read it after i heard it is being adapted into a film by David Fincher. Also it was rumored that Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Johnny Depp wanted to play the central role.

The novel was really long and in my honest opinion had all the ingredients for a perfect "masala" movie. The central knot around which this novel revolves had a solution which totally lacked any logic or sense, to believe that a key evidence to resolve the entire mystery was not noticed by anyone in 60 years, but our hero resolves it with one stroke was hard to believe, that to, it was not even a Sherlock Holmes kind deduction which made it even more painful to believe. Most characters were not developed completely and left midway during the course of narration. Unnecessary sequences which actually did not contribute anything to the story line were a major sore point. I think the author was obsessed with Apple powerbook(s) and iBook(s) that he has quoted the technical specifications with screen resolution which in my opinion was totally unnecessary and he has made hacking look like 'BASIC' Program execution. On the whole it was not a bad novel, but a novel you shouldnt be spending an entire weekend on, ignoring everyone and then face the consequences for it!

What the .... ?

There is a news item in 'The Hindu' about Chennai people braving the rain to support Hazare's cause and at the end I get to read this

VIJAY TO MEET HAZARE

Tamil actor Vijay will leave for Delhi on Thursday morning to meet Anna Hazare at the Ramlila grounds to wish him success in his campaign. He will also participate in the fast.

My first reaction - "why is this news under a wrong title?". After few seconds it struck me, the real question is "Why is this a news item?". This is not even a information to be published in a paper like 'The Hindu', forget Hindu, any paper, be it vernacular or English, for that matter. Expressing solidarity can be done through number of ways, you dont need to fast in Delhi to show support, you can very well fast in Valluvar Kottam. The actual news that should have been published is "There is an insignificant news about Vijay which we have decided not to publish!"

P:S: This is out and out my personal take. The reaction would have been the same for anyone from the tamil film industry. Since it was Dr.Vijay, i couldnt control myself from blogging it.

Stop! This is Madness

I think everybody in the IT service domain would have gone through this harrowing experience. This specific use case happens when you are in a social situation forced to make a conversation with a human (especially inquisitive male) twice your age. After all your initial formal pleasantries and when you are just about to log out of the conversation, the inevitable happens

Inquisitive male: So tell me Mr.xxxx, where do you work
You: Well, I am with working < an Indian IT MNC> for an aerospace client, Boeing.
Inquisitive male: Thats great, so do you know how much they sell the 787 for?
You: What? How would I, No, I work in the comp ....
Inquisitive male: Thats ok, what is the problem with their 787, they talk about some production and labor problems?
You: Well, .... eh ... you see there are various divisions ....
Inquisitive male: Hmmm ....

At this very moment, he just stops looking at you and walks away without even acknowledging your presence. You can hear him telling this to your dad or mom

Inquisitive male: I think the young people now are lazy and they dont know anything outside their computer. In our time, we used to know everything that happened around us and blah blah blah ....useless generation!

This is not just one instance, the very tidbits about the Western companies provided in the form of news over "The Hindu" and "The Indian express" is killing every IT guy. If you are with a retail client like WalMart, a staple question is, "How can they sell things cheap?". I pity all those folks who are with financial institutions, don't attend any social gathering now, forget the 'what is credit rating ?' question the focus will be more on 'why was US downgraded?'! So much for studying Computer Science.

Another instance i hate the most is,

Prerequiste: You don't need to engage in a conversation with a person twice your age, anyone who is not in IT can/will ask you this

Person Not in IT: Hello Mr.XXXX, where do you work? (the 'Mr' is a very important part of addressing someone, Damn you British!)
You: I work in < an Indian IT MNC>
Person Not in IT: WOW, that's a big company, do you know Mr.Prabhakar? He is also with your company.
You: Oh is it so, not really, i dont know him.
Person Not in IT: No man, you should be knowing him, he is been there for more than 20 years.
You: Well, my company is big, there are vari ......
Person Not in IT: You got to be kidding me, how can someone be in this company and not know Mr.Prbhakar
You: ah! eh! hmmmmm .... ??????????

After few irritating instances, i developed my own arsenal to counter this argument, I would randomly choose a name and ask him

I: So you work in < some company >. Do you know Mr.Sethuraman?
Person Not in IT: Sethuraman who?
I: What do you mean Sethuraman who? How could you now know Sethuraman? He was in "The Hindu" Sunday supplement the other day. Looks like everyone in your company knows him and he is the next big happening person in your company
Person Not in IT: I don't know who you are talking about.
I: WOW, that's a surprise, I thought since you knew everyone you might also know someone from your own company ...

Well you don't need to end your line here, the other person would have walked away long before you complete your sentence. Rest assured, the next time you meet this person again, from my experience your conversation with this guy will never go past 'How are you?' :-) You will be tagged as rude and a non-social prick, but atleast you save the pain of explaining!

The Statistician in me - 3

This should be the most analyzed stat in the history of Indian cricket, the stat on Sachin's second innings performance. Well couldn't stop myself from digging this one out after Sachin remains unbeaten overnight against the English.

	Sachin	Span	Mat	Runs	HS	Bat Av	100
	Career	1989-2011	181	14909	248*	56.26	51
	3rd Innings	1989-2011	168	2839	176	48.11	10
	4th Innings	1989-2011	117	1439	136	38.89	3
	Both 3rd and 4th	1989-2011	168	4278	176	44.56	13

Well the number on the 4th innings is really a cause of concern, for a batsman to have stayed in the international arena for more than 2 decades and still not reach an average of 40 is a bit of a disappointment. We are talking about a batsman with NO possible deficiency in technique and the best batsmen of our generation, on the other hand the average on the 3rd innings looks a lot better relatively. But when you take the entire second innings as factor, i would say it looks decent. I think both these numbers are best understood when compared against the other top batsmen at the same era.

	Lara	Span	Mat	Runs	HS	Bat Av	100
	Career	1990-2006	131	11953	400*	52.88	34
	3rd Innings	1990-2006	125	2264	145	40.42	7
	4th Innings	1990-2006	95	1440	153*	35.12	2
	Both 3rd and 4th	1990-2006	125	3704	153*	38.18	9
	Ponting	Span	Mat	Runs	HS	Bat Av	100
	Career	1995-2010	152	12363	257	53.51	39
	3rd Innings	1995-2010	150	2278	116	38.61	2
	4th Innings	1995-2010	115	1362	156	54.48	4
	Both 3rd and 4th	1995-2010	150	3640	156	43.33	6
	Dravid	Span	Mat	Runs	HS	Bat Av	100
	Career	1996-2011	157	12775	270	53	35
	3rd Innings	1996-2011	149	2532	180	42.91	5
	4th Innings	1996-2011	110	1476	103*	42.17	1
	Both 3rd and 4th	1996-2011	149	4008	180	42.63	6

WOW! what was that? I least expected Dravid and Lara to fall behind Sachin. I think Sachin has performed a lot better than most of his contemporary batsmen of his era. The data looks a shade better when compared with his fellow performers. I think the numbers provide a better evidence of the player he is, also, maintaining an average of over 45 over 100 tests is in itself a great record.

But lets focus on Sachin's second innings and see where the runs have come from

The chart does seem to provide vital information as to Sachin's second innings performance on different conditions. Just considering the top teams, his performance at home, England and SriLanka are excellent, while his record in Australia, S.Africa and Pakistan are abysmal at best. There is a sharp contrast and this cannot be tied to the surfaces as in both ends of his performance spectrum we have very good pace and spin conditions. But one clear trend is, his performance during the second innings against the best of attacks is poor. But to conclude from just the average will be wrong, I think that analysis warrants a separate post on its own. Anyhow if tomorrow is to be considered, his record in England is great and I hope he will save the test for us.

Just Amazing

Every day I take it for granted that I will find a new comic strip for Dilbert and I come to realize that in the last year alone there has not been a single day where Dilbert strip has taken a day off. On a lighter note, I am just curious on how Scott Adams works, does he provide comic strips worth two-three months at one point of time then start working on the next set of strips? Does he ever take vacation or a day off? What is more intriguing is the fact that each comic strip has got a theme which gets conveyed in a single strip with four - five boxes, how can someone churn out comic strips at this rate without getting exhausted (mentally ofcourse!). I understand this is creativity at its best and that's the reason he is earning millions but still for some one to come up with brand new situations and scenarios on a regular basis is something extraordinary. Well, there are always re-occuring themes like the meeting routine or project schedule analysis or the manager's ignorance on technology, but still they are not so evident as they satirical comic variety in them varies to the extent that you ignore those theme repeats. To incubate an idea and represent the same within a strip is really an act of a genius as it needs to convey the intention and humor to the reader within that short attention span. Hats off to all those comic strip creator geniuses.

Note: I think one of our "trivia" guys like Koi can definitely tell us 4 specific instances/dates in the last 30 years of Dilbert's publication as to when the strip actually took a break.

Apollo 18

The film trailer Apollo 18 caught my eye yesterday. Looks like an amazing premise to work on and teasers were great. One another film to have the mockumentary style of filming, hopefully it is not a dud with a cheesy plot and 'US is great' ending