The Race called Manager(s)

Managers are a unique species or race on their own, all our time in the industry we want to slog, work, space out dreaming to become managers one day. The training we attend as freshers are assembly lines programming us to dream about becoming managers some day. There are few defective pieces out of those assembly who want to be technical architects, technology consultants etc but they are just anomalies in an otherwise perfect production unit. There are instances where people complete their "PMP" immediately out college just to improve their chances when their time comes in 10 years. To all those wannabe Managers, there is more than just bossing around and writing exams, there are traits that are required to be developed, otherwise it will be like Balamurali Krishna trying to rap with bling Bling around his neck and Cradle of Filth trying Pancharatna Kriti!

I could think about ten traits and attitudes

1. A Task is said to be complete if the work item is updated to 100% in the MPP. It doesnt matter what the developer says, the code gets checked in automatically when you update 100% in your MPP. It is called 'Manager MAGIC', you will ONLY attain this skill on promotion
2. Ask the Developer for his work status in the loo. They will feel threatened and they will definitely complete the task before they leave for the day. The tone and surprise factor are really important here
3. Appreciate everything, ensure to include the top management even if the Client just smiled and said "thank you" for pointing the start button on his windows desktop. The terms like "keep up the good work", "keep the flag flying high" are really important phrases to be present in those emails
4. Remember, there are no bad designs or bad management, there can only be faulty coding, irresponsible developers and freshers
5. As always meetings are for idle rambling with no specific point to be made.
6. An issue warrants attention only when it is escalated by the client. In all other situations the project is always in green and adhers to CMMI level 5, ALWAYS!
7. Proactive Managers are like the BIg foot or Yeti. They are only read about, they dont exist
8. "Too many managers spoil the project" is an racist attitude towards the Managers. People should be sued for saying this.
9. Managers are not born, neither are they self made, they are just promoted!
10. Attention span is directly propotional to the employee number of the person in conversation